Mar 7, 2001 - Nibbles    No Comments

Don’t know where to start. Feeling sad. More than that. But that’s a start. I hate feeling conflicted. I know my choices in life. I know what I want. I have never felt the need to justify them to anyone else. I don’t feel like I need to now.

I don’t know what will happen with Curtis and I. I love him, and yes, except for the “religion thing” we would be perfect together. But that doesn’t make me want to give up what has been the most important influence, and effect on my life up to now. It’s interesting. I also am the only thing that stands in the way of us being together. My need to have someone share with me that love. That experience. Forgive me love, but would you really want me turning to someone else to share such a big part of me? Would you want me to bury it deep and watch as it extinguishes my spirit?

The past few days I’ve found my life come back. Curtis has seen it reflected in me physically as well. My complection, my color. I don’t want to lose that.

Color Quiz Results:

    Your Existing Situation

      Willing and adaptable. Only at peace when closely attached to a person, group, or organization on a which reliance can be placed.

    Your Stress Sources

      Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

    Your Restrained Characteristics

      Feels that she cannot do much about her existing problems and difficulties and that she must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.

    Your Desired Objective

      Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermining others’ confidence in herself.

    Your Actual Problem

      Fights against restriction or limitation, and insists on developing freely as a result of her own efforts.

    Your Actual Problem #2

      The fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her to play her part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

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