Mar 9, 2001 - Nibbles    No Comments

I’m tired. Curtis and I talked last night. The inevitable run away part happened. Then I had to go to the meeting. Afterwards I took a bath, got in bed, and called him to say good night. It’s so hard. I love him. But in a warped sense of view, he stands between me and my getting back into the hall. Getting it together.
Last night I wished that he would want to support me. I don’t know what’s right or wrong here. I know it’s wrong to hope that someone will change to be something that they’re not. But I don’t think it’s right to give up one of my needs/dreams either. Meanwhile its just a long time before I can “be” with him. And that’s hard too. My heart has never followed tradition, and it fails to now.
I know that it’s a good idea to wait, but my heart says it right, be there now. All of that just skips by the whole religion thing.
I’m tired.

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