Well tonight makes a year. I just happened across a calendar, and realized it. Of course having it marked on the calendar helped. Tears are rolling down my face and I’m having a moment of sadness or loss in the middle of a rather bland and discontented night. Earlier I was listening to music and “Sway” came on. Made me think of how he danced with her before he left. Made me wish that I could have ever seen that version of him. Someone who poured his heart out, who slowed danced spontaneously. But I never did get to see that version of him. Its hard not to tell myself that its because he never loved me like he loved her.
Oh Curtis, you’ll never know how much I wish everything could be perfect for us. Tonight my heart aches incrediably, and at least now I know why. Tonight I wish I could be with you. All memories and future aside. Just you and me. And love.
Where do I go from here?
Here’s to love.
Don’t stray, don’t ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don’t let me drown, let me down
I say it’s all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I’m practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn’t seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it’s time to tell you why
I say it’s infintely true
Say you’ll stay, don’t come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
And there’s no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything’s turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired – I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon