Archive from December, 2001
Dec 24, 2001 - Nibbles    No Comments

just in case one day i try to look back and gloss over this, this is a reminder of how very pathetic — lonely, depressed — I am. I am so bad I subject him to my phone calls of tears and lamentions. I cry and cry over myself. i think of how i’d rather be dead. how tired i am of all of this.

i hope against hope that somehow everything is soon to be over. that some kind of “magical” force will come and sweep everything all away, and i will begin a new life. wonderful, loved, confident and fresh. a bright future ahead.

but when i think of reality i realize just how very screwed up i am. how very far that is from the truth of possibility. and how very long before any future ahead of me will look bright… if times passing will even allow for it.

Dec 24, 2001 - Nibbles    No Comments

She lay next to him quietly, and snuggled up a little closer as she woke. His heavy breathing relayed that he was still sleeping, and she didn’t want to stir him. She lay thinking about her favorite homey restaurant just down the street… she dreamed of breakfast. She couldn’t wait until a little later when she’d be sitting over her plate of blueberry pancakes, and eggs, and sweet tea. She laughed at herself for laying there thinking about breakfast. Oh, but who cares, she thought, its our day off, I can be as silly as I want.

He rustled next to her, waking. She wondered idly if her stomach had betrayed her thoughts. She leaned over him, blowing lightly on his nose. She couldn’t help but giggle when he twitched and reached across to rub away the disturbance. She leaned a little closer to send a trail of wind across his eye brows. His arms encircled her, as he opened his eyes and laughed. She had been caught. She squealed with delight as he tossed her over, and nuzzled her neck.

How nice it is to have the day off, she thought to herself, as they wrestled.

Dec 24, 2001 - Nibbles    No Comments

She lay sleeping peacefully. Warm, secure, even a smile on her lips.

The door opened, he was home.

He crept quietly into the room, trying not to wake her. Lovingly he gazed at his princess as he slipped off his shoes.

His socked feet didn’t make a sound on the carpet below him, but yet she knew he was there. Still she held her eyes closed…

He leaned over her, tucking the covers around her. He bent to kiss the bare shoulder that peaked out.

As he turns to finish getting ready for bed, she smiles to herself contentedly, and sighs quietly in the dark.

Dec 6, 2001 - Nibbles    No Comments

post script…

I still leave the top lock unlocked.

I’m still hopeful on Thursday nights. Your night to stay up late. And sometimes show up here.

Dec 6, 2001 - Nibbles    No Comments

Hey, I’m just hear wishing I could be with you. I just wish things could be perfect for us. That everything would be able to just work out. I know I’ve wished these things before, and that I probably just sound silly.

I asked you on the phone, can’t I just hide under your bed? I’ll be quiet.

I miss you.

And I love you.

Don’t ever let me go.