Aug 21, 2007 - Nibbles    No Comments

lying to himself

i think it’s just in his nature not to be honest. i don’t take it personally anymore, but i suppose it’s also something that keeps me from trusting his words. it’s not malicious, i think its second nature and well intentioned, but that doesn’t keep me from feeling like i can’t trust things he says or feels…

wilco: he said he hadn’t thought of wilco or what not when he called… but he immediately charlie needed a ticket.

commitment: he said about a week ago that he “had made that choice… i chose when you were in italy” and then i realized that would have been his motivation for buying me the necklace. isn’t that choice, the choice to choose me, the definition of commitment? (he thought i was crazy when i said i didn’t know that he had committed to me… that he’s never chosen me… but evidentally i was right… though that isn’t to diminish the commitment he’d made to our relationship, he’d only committed to me just a few weeks ago.)

i don’t feel like pointing these things out would help much, but i’d prefer to start chronicling things i think to help me learn how to maneuver through our relationship better. to better understand him and the complicated way he thinks and doesn’t.

Got anything to say? Go ahead and leave a comment!