i keep writing notes on crazy things like the top of my daniel’s broiler leftovers box, jersey mike’s paper napkins and backs of reciepts. i don’t want to forget these ideas, so i’m going to put them here. i’m not sure why i’m apologizing to myself for this – i guess it’s just because it seems to break the purist spirit of this blog.
- make a list of things forgive …. forget; need to stop remembering the past, it’s the past and we (can) have a great future and the pieces of the past are what brought us here
- post the “irony” image that janice showed me last week. it’s a good sentiment, backdate it to the right day
- start a “timeless” photo album that chronicles all the good memories — i’ll never be a creative memories girl, but i can do that.
- “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” i just learned that this quote is from seven habits of highly effective people. i own it (or used to) and never read it, maybe that would be a good enzyme for current growth spurt
- document my thinking on rome, moving, hopes, goals, work, etc. need to understand each of the facets of what’s going on in my life right now because the lines aren’t cut and dry. i have to examine them together, not individually.
- examine the fear of starting grad school. a three year commitment. a commitment i’d willingly make if we were commited, but i guess my fear is proof of my underlying feeling that the commitment wasn’t there. should we have talked marriage more? future? it never seemed to be an issue until i realized i’d assumed our future was secure and together right up until being dumped.
- can i treat him like a prince after giving time and space, or will i have lost my “reckless abandon” rush and be more cautious, reserved, insecure, etc? could he deal with that, and we rebuild together, or will he be angry? i say angry, i guess, because i’d expect him to want to punish me and for me to make recompense. does times and space negate recompense? can we get out of the “you owe me” mode that we keep getting into? is it just me that’s felt that way?